Monday, March 1, 2010

Writing: Access Your Resevoir of Experience

As the Bible states, It is better to give than to receive.

During those moments when we are feeling deep emotions, we may want to write our feelings down. Whether we are experiencing joy, pain, sadness or anger, there are descripitons hidden within emotions that adds color to our lives and to our stories. Our feelings are invaluable.

Treat your emotions like a gold mine and mine them. There is great value there. Dig and give away what you find. Others might appreciate it.

Having said that, I strongly suggest we access our own experiences more and share those experiences with others, not necessarily in a story, but in a letter. Write a letter about what you are feeling.

For example, pretend you are with a therapist (you're on the sofa). What do you have to say?

It may go something like this:

Dear Reader,

Today, I am missing a very close relationship. I was married for eighteen years and now that I am not, my life is quite different. I am, yet, adjusting.

I have dated a few people, but, in doing so, I've learned that I do not want a serious relationship, just friends. In moments like these (the present) however, I would like more.

I have to be careful here, because there is a difference in missing a person and missing the relationship. People, often falter by going back and forth, in and out of unhealthy relationships for that reason. Sometimes people do not want to be alone. It's like going back to a job you left. Look, Either you left for a reason or you did not. Here's where we have to trust ourselves.

Lonelines is okay. Pain is okay. Because we are feeling pain from loosing a loved one does not mean we should jump into another relationship with that same person or anyone else; after all, we are always alone. Always.

I've found that once I grew up and accepted the reality of loneliness as a temporary thing, and the state of being alone as eternal, I began to make better decisions.

People who can handle pain are people who tend to make better decisions in the long run, as it pertains to break ups. People who are overcome by pain tend to jump out of the frying pan and back into the pot.

All of the above entail my inner thoughts at the time of the writing.

Now, how do I turn this into interesting fiction. Well, if art imitates life, then I'm on to something here.

Here we go.

He snuffed out a half smoked cigar and stared at a full glass of wine that sat before him, untouched. He repositioned himself in the hammock and put the novel aside. He was on page 31 but could not remember what he had read.

He sat the book aside.

"It's okay," he whispered.

He opened the cell phone, stared at her name and number and closed the phone for the third time without dialing.

The phone rang.

"Hi mom. Fine. No, we're not back together. No. I miss.....the relationship, but I don't miss her. Okay. I'll come, but Mom? I may be alone."

He closed the cell phone and smiled. He really smiled. His eyes smiled. "Relationship," he mummbled.

Larry, placed the phone on the grass beneath his hammock, lit the cigar and took a long drag. Again, he smiled. He stared at the stogie. It tasted better. He licked his bottom lip. Larry then sipped from his glass of wine. He then held the glass in front of him as if it were his lover's face. He shook the glass, ever so slightly, just enough to give the wine legs that ran along the inside of the glass like diluted syrup. He sipped it again, chewed it and smiled.

"Now that's a glass of wine," he said.

Life is good when you know what you're feeling. Larry nodded, approvingly.

He finished the novel and dialed.

"Hi," he said. "This is Larry. We met at the library...last week? Yes. Thought I'd invite you over to my mother's for dinner tommorrow. Sure, then I'll take you home immediately, afterwards. Okay. Thanks. See you then."

Larry toasted to the open air, alone. He sipped and smiled.