The Psychology of Sex, God's Greatest Invention

The Question of God: C.S. Lewis and Sigmund Freud Debate God, Love, Sex, and the Meaning of LifeSex As God Intended

The first known act among people on earth involved sex. Irrespective of ones religion, the annals of history, the genesis of mankind and one of the most potent sources of inspiration is.....sex. If I could give God almighty a gold medal, I would. It would be engraved: In honor of the World's Greatest Invention. If i could email him, let's say, at www.writetoGod.org, I would and with tremendous gratitude.

No, i'm not carrying on about anything that may have happened last night. I am simply inspired by some of the great authors I've read lately, many of whom are relatively unknown, but their work is second to none. Among those writings I've found a most fascinating common denominator. It exist somewhere between romance and exotica. This is not going to be a sexually inflamed post, so hold onto your pants.

It is the compilation of scenes leading to romance that intrigues me most. The intellectual foreplay between characters who are not yet intimate can be promising. Even if nothing develops between them, the idea of what might happen creates romantic suspense. On the light side, author, Kathy Herman hinted at it in her novel, "Never Look Back" (Multnomah Books 2007). Her characters, Ivy & Rue pulled it off with classic appeal.

It's not the simple act of sex that makes a character exciting, but rather, the energy and passion we readers sense in the interaction of personalities involved. It represents a most profound representation of the old cliche, "anticipation is greater than realization." Rarely, is the physical manifestation greater than passion, an ongoing intimacy that far outlives the act.

I am not a clinical psychiatrist or therapist, however, my undergraduate degree in the field does allow a layman's insight adequate to build realistic scenes and plausible characterization with the help of practicing professionals. The end result is a scene that actually jumps off the paper. The use of passion helps us to arrive at authentic cliff hangers at the end of a chapter or scene.

Allow us to sneak inside your characters mind. What is her sexual fantasy? Let's hear from a pro. "Sexual fantasizing is a natural human phenomenon similar to dreaming," says Wendy Maltz, M.S.W. and co-author with Suzie Boss of the newly released book, Private Thoughts: Exploring Women's Sexual Fantasies.

Readers like to go behind the scene and discover what the character is not willing to otherwise reveal. I suggest we writers encroach more upon the characters privacy. What does she think is right or wrong about sex, for example. What were her past sexual disappointments like and which did she enjoy most? Take us there with your writing and we will not put your book down.

Character Definition

We can better demonstrate the psychology of our fictional character by exaggerating his emotional attitude toward sex. Maybe, he is so wrapped up in the idea of making money that he neglects his wife, sexually. Maybe, she has made her career a priority and waits too late to start a family, in her opinion. Maybe, she believes their is a value in suffering, or maybe she is practicing the moral extreme. Explore it. In the words of Pamela Madsen, Fertility/Sex educator, blogger, author of Shameless and founder of The American Fertility Association, "suffering is highly overrated and unnecessary."

Does your character suffer from this self imposed prison?

Sexual Motivation

Explore what motivates her, sexually. You might start by asking that question of yourself. I understand that you are not your fictional character, but you are human and therefore share, at least, some of the same motivations. Take myself for example, I am strongly attracted to intelligent women who are spiritually balanced. Such stimulus is the beginning of a demonstration of passion toward such a person. I might project this source of stimulus upon a fictional character by having his or her partner naturally exhibit intelligent interpretations of simple ideas.

For example, a lady to whom I am attracted, is intellectually inspiring, spiritually reflective and has an aura of quiet sophistication. A nude woman could not move me more. Below is part of a genuine conversation i had with this person, leading to something quiet special. I hope it helps you toward building more romance, passion and sexual intimacy among your characters. Again, i believe God's creativity toward creating people and then sex is a viable path toward understanding who we really are.

She is a native Spanish speaker and my first language is English. We are discussing language but our mutual interest far exceeds the veneer of our dialog.

Here it is:

Me: Pronunciation in Spanish is quiet challenging. It has been an eye opening experience.
Her: How?
Me: Because I have not only learned the language, but it has given me insight into the culture
in terms of how others feel, think and process information.
Her: Interesting. Tell me more, Barry.

Me: I am learning from the mistakes of native Spanish speakers who are learning English. I
think we learn more from our mistakes and failures than from success. The teachings of
success are limited and not always transferable.

Her: I agree...non-transferable due to a wide disparity of human ingenuity, background,
aptitude, etc.

Me: ...the way nouns proceed adjectives in Spanish and (Le, Te, etc.) is quiet formal.

{at this point I began to address her with articles and words that are informal, such
as "tu" for you, rather than "usted."}

She: Is that part of your attraction?
Me: Yes, there's a certain stimulus involved there, isn't it.
She: Yes, it is elliptic in nature.
Me: Elliptic in that in can be inseparable of the person...the source of an attraction.
She: Tell me more.
Me: I think you know.
She: But, I don't guess.
Me: Ok. So i am very much attracted to you.
She: You're making my day.
Me: There are many things different about you that I find fascinating. Do you know what they
are?
She: Tell me.
Me: Part of it permeates from your culutre. For example, of the (hacerse, ponerse, volverse a
convertise) many ways of expressing change and adaptation, you are more inclined towards
the spiritual, the unwritten, the unspoken genuine communication. And I talk too much, some
times.

She: But I'm not complaining.
Me: I hope you realize where this is going. But, you're not a guesser, so I'll tell you.
By the way, I'm often wrong about practical things but equally right about the spiritual,
sensory based stuff.....the abstract....the genuine.

She: So, tell me.
Me: If i could turn back the hands of time, I would place more value, principally, upon
intellectual impetus
She: Really
Me: Energy
She: Wooowww. That's great.
Me: Inspiration....
She: Thank you
Me: Reflection
She: So, am I to understand you've turned back the hands of time and embraced those values?
Actually, Barry, you have long ago done so. That's who you are.

Me: I guess so. That's what I value above all.
Above money.
Above beauty.
Above all. (all of which describes you, of course)


Conclusion
Romance builds. The best that sex has to offer is often implied.

Color Your Writing with Controversy

" You know what piss me off about white people?," Jane Doe asked.

How about that for an opening line? Make it controversial and color your writing with interest.

Maybe, Jane Doe was Latino and lived in a small southern American town. Maybe, there was a small concentration of Latinos there. Perhaps, a crime took place. The townspeople were disturbed. The sheriff could not find the culprit and the people needed a scapegoat. They blamed her brother, Jose Doe. I know it is an old plot, but it is real. Real people with real blood running through their veins experience such injustice everyday, worldwide. Allow them to "happen" on paper.

Get in touch with broken characters. Talk to people you meet and look for it. Who knows, you may be the turning point toward their healing. I'm not suggesting you "fix" people, however, I am suggesting you observe "brokeness." Most of us are or have been broken somewhere throughout life. Have you ever had a broken heart? I'm willing to bet you were not the most pleasant person to associate with at the time, were you? Okay, take that thought and exaggerate. This will help towards character development.

Okay, get busy. Write.

Prompt Your Creative Writing with Color

Get yourself in line, how dare you think. Thinking? Who do you think you are, anyway. How dare you.

Sometimes, a writer's attitude toward the fictional character is as I have described above. That's not true with you, is it? Of course, not. Well, just bare with me for a moment. We'll see about that. What if one of your characters lived in a country at war. Think about her feelings about the war. Maybe, she feels the war is justified, so think of her convictions for a moment. I know, you don't want to discuss politics because like race and religion, it is taboo. Your character (not you, of course) has been taught to avoid those subjects. Have you considered that it is those subjects that gives your character definition?

Well, try it, for crying out loud. Stir up the reader's emotions will you. Have her fall in love with someone of a different nationality, a different political background. Upset her parents who are Jewish when she falls in love with a Christian Black man. "Guess whose coming home for dinner, mom?"

Maybe the main character's parents are heterosexual and she is not. What are you waiting for, have her bring her girlfriend home to dinner. Stir those emotions and let's see what's inside mom's head. Twist the plot. Expose the madness. Will mom come into understanding or will she remain in an abyss of ignorance for the remainder of her life? Let's see mom in action.

Find Colorful Writing in Dialogue and Suspense

Colorful writing is not always the result of fine re-writes and editing. Sometimes it starts right from the character's mouth. Every several thousand words or so, I will stumble across a word spoken from one of my characters that makes me appreciate the character's individuality more. Have you experienced that?

In my upcoming novel, The Doctor's Vice, I hear my character (Ivan) responding negatively toward someone he likes. No one else dare impose his opinion on my character, Saleem, but Ivan does and it's natural. I would like to share this work in progress with you. Hopefully, I'm making it happen.

In the opening chapter where I hope to create suspense, Saleem and Ivan are discussing the need to find a man who can complete the deed they have in mind without attracting police attention.

{I do not let the reader on to particulars at this point}

Later, I'm seeking to continue to elevate the suspense by continuing this scene.

"We're discussing the life of a human being here," Ivan said.

"It is also, business. No?"

Ivan nodded, affirmatively.

"How do we handle this problem?" Saleem asked.

"Permanently."

Saleem accepted the cigar and removed an ashtray from the bottom drawer of his desk. The window directly to his back was open where cigar smoke drifted like foggy balloons with broken shapes as the first hint of sunlight cast rays onto the ashtray.

"A missing prosecutor. This will make trouble, no?"

"It's the only way."

Saleem studied his cigar, twirled it with four fingers and thumb, and then inhaled, constantly stroking the shaft. He half smiled. "Great cigar, no?"

"Umhm."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome, Saleem"

Saleem pointed his cigar towards Ivan. "Discretion is the word...yes?"

"Discretion and silence," Ivan agreed.

Saleem took another puff and pointed the cigar again, "And you can make this happen, yes?"

Ivan nodded.

"And no police."

"No police, Saleem."

"And she shall disappear like smoke in the wind, yes?"

"...but not without repercussions, Saleem."

"Repercussions? Explain."

Ivan explained the many ramifications of a missing prosecutor. "...and it'll create an intense investigation, Saleem."

"And?"

"And that's fine as long as we cover our tracks."

"Then find me a man who does not leave tracks. Yes?"

"It will be...complicated. Expensive."

"This prosecutor. Louisa Handryman. LH," Saleem said, as he waived his cigar at a swarm of imaginary gnats,"is like unwanted pest, no?"

"All pest are unwelcome."

They laughed.

"Expensive. Complicated, you say. A problem."

"She's definitely a problem, Saleem."

"We eliminate problems," he said, pointing the cigar toward Ivan.

What Color is Your Brain?

View the colorful box (above) for sixty seconds or more and elevate your creativity. Immediately, write down what you feel.  At the end of this article, I will confirm what you are thinking and feeling. (In fact, as you read this first paragraph the experience has already taken a positive effect on your life).

Seduce your reader, subliminally.

Subliminal strategies are not new. The first, in the late 1950s, focused on James Vicary's claims that he had inserted split-second, invisible ad messages into movies. In the 1970s, Wilson Bryan Key rekindled the frenzy with his book Subliminal Seduction, which purported to reveal that ads for liquor and other everyday products were riddled with hidden skulls and humping donkeys - Clary McLaren

{Clary McLaren studies the paradox of ad criticism}



Color reflects mood. Consider this. Many corporations spend millions of dollars to discover just the right colors associated with the corporate logo and the ensuing message. Take the popular furniture store "Rooms to Go" for example. Its employees wear bright red, yellow, green and blue. An assortment of excitement. Excitement, like enthusiasm is contagious. A consistent mood develops brand, ever subliminal in the mind of the viewer. As writers, color is not a viable medium, but words and scenes that reflect mood consistent with color is readily accessible to us. Use it.

Here it is: The 50,000 daily thoughts you had in the past have created the person you are today and the life you are currently living and the 50,000 thoughts you are thinking today are creating the person you are going to be tomorrow and the life you will live!

{for additional information on subliminal text, see the link below}

- http://www.subliminal.net/

The world reknown jazz musician, John Coltrane wrote on the jacket of the album cover, entitled  "Equinox," something to the following effect.

" The more I developed this music, the more I discovered that the thing I was excavating were parts of my own soul."

Color has an incredible effect on your mood, your perception and your likes and dislikes. It’s programmed into you, and you really have little to say about it. Your reptilian mind is the part of you that is programmed to survive. It’s what makes you instinctively know that fire is bad, that red is danger, and that green is comforting. Humans developed over millions of years and color is a big part of our perception.

Colors Black and white represent polarity and compatability. Words associated with those colors are: perspective, point of view, objectivity, attraction.

The color blue symbolize a reflective mood. Words primarily associated with the color blue are: happy, gay, mellow and introspective.

Bright hues such as yellow, red and orange represent novelty.

The following words are associated with bright colors: accessibility, affordabilty, energetic and future.

Red is the color predominantly used in fast food advertisements because it stimulates the appetite. Orange is commonly used to advertise expensive products because it is perceived as affordable.

I am not suggesting we deceive the reader. I am recommending we plant (early on) the subconcious reality of the character and "show" the actions overtly so that the reader arrives at the same conclusion intended by the writer - an understanding of the character. This is a most effective means of arriving at colorful writing.

Below is a link to a psychological word test. Try it on your characters. Take this test as if you were the character in your story. It will develop tremendous insight into your characters thinking and keep your character's actions consistent with her psyche.

Please, let me know if this helps by commenting and following this sight. May your writing goals be fulfilled.

By the way, at the risk of presumption, the thoughts you felt when viewing the colors and words above were "joy" and "excitement." Your thinking was in line with developing new ideas for an existing story. If you think you were stimulated to start a new story, rethink the proposition. The story you are inspired to write is already in your archives.

{for additional information on subliminal text, see the link below}

- http://www.subliminal.net/

Please, let me know if this helps by commenting and following this sight. May your writing goals be fulfilled.

Psychology word list -- Vocabulary test 10

Seduce your reader, subliminally.

Crazy About Writing

Write and Sell Your Knowledge

Are You an Expert?


Discover free money you’ve already earned.

If you answered, yes, then you are about to discover an exciting resource and additional avenues to produce more income from what you already know.

Free money rest in the bosom of experts. Many experts are learning (as are you) of untapped resources. If you have an area of expertise exceeding fifteen years of experience, then you may have something to offer of intrinsic value.

"Human beings are always in search of ways to resolve personal problems or expand their mental, physical, social and professional skills," says Jean Marie Stine, author of Self-Help & How-To Books.

You may be pleasantly suprised of the many income streams affordable to you as a result of your knowledge. "As our society becomes increasingly complex, more and more attorneys and judges are turning to consultants to explain how things happen," says Dan Poynter, author of The Self Publishing Manual, and over 76 additional titles. "Eighteen million (18,000.000) law suits are filed each year in the United States by 850,000 lawyers. Each case needs at least two expert witnesses," he concluded.

http://www.parapublishing.com/

You may not have become rich through your specialized knowledge, bud did you make money?

If so, others can take your how-to information and make more money from it than you ever dreamed. In the words of Nolan Bushnell, founder of Atari, “Others can take and old product and apply new technology leading to astounding success.”

With the advent of the internet, this strategy is compelling. Successful entrepreneurs often enjoy a variety of experience and a vast knowledge base. They frequently apply new strategies to old business modules (a new razzmatazz, if you will) and become wealthy. They know how to fill a need more efficiently through the use of developed technologies; as a result, they become wealthy.

Take the information websites, for example, E-how, Wanna Learn, How to Books.com, Suite 101, etc. Each of these enterprises is extremely great outlets which allow experts to help others and generate an income, simultaneously. These resources are a great help to you. I am about to show you how.

Let’s dig through the gold mine of experiences in your head.

(1) Look at your career and business experience. Can you talk about what you do?

(2) Can you delineate the experience, trade secrets and skills needed to be successful? Do you have a lucrative hobby?

If you’ve answered yes to the above questions, read on.

This writer has witnessed immediate success of individuals who woke up one day and realized the secret within themselves. This writer has written, edited and supported their books on the subject of their respective expertise.

Take Barbara Wright-Sykes for example. Barbara knows more about sewing than any top three experts, combined, but Barbara has always been a rather down-to-earth personality who simply enjoyed her work. She was, also, a consultant to others who sew clothing for a living.

There were books in Barbara. The first book is called “The Business of Sewing,” ©copyright 2005 Collins Publications.

That book changed Barbara’s life, forever. We encouraged each other. I edited her book with joy. Barbara has not looked back and her success sings a piercing song throughout her most glamorous career. If that was not enough, she published “Overcoming Fear, Doubt & Procrastination,” © copyright 1990 Collins Publications. She has since published a series of books, TV shows, radio shows, Audio/Video cassettes, seminars and workshops stimulating world-wide appeal. Barbara is on top of her game.

You too, can exploit your knowledge base, profitably.

How to Discover That Goldmine within Yourself

(1) Ask yourself, what body of knowledge is unique to you?

(2) What are the critical mistakes you’ve made that could have been avoided?

(3) If you had a child entering your profession, what would you tell her?

If you can answer each question with two sentences or more, I can help you write your book. In fact, almost any well published writer can.

By the way, if I may digress for a moment, I practice what I preach. After writing and editing books for others (after helping make other folks rich), I applied the above principles to my own life. I answered the questions above.

The end result? My book: How to Build a Putting Green, ©copyright 2007, and wealth danced at my door steps. (Google me and any of the above mentioned people and see)

That’s not all. Take Jackie Follie’s book: The Entrepreneur’s Handbook, a multi-million dollar best seller in Europe, Asia and the Middle East. I wrote it for Jackie. When Jackie started with this book, Jackie lived in a one bedroom flat—not so, today, by a wide margin. Jackie sold the interest to a publishing conglomerate and retired went into semi-retirement.

The annals of How-to history are filled with many successful people who, at one point in their lives, did not recognize the wealth of material wrapped in their experience. They know today.

You can, too.

Jeff Wuorio knows. Jeff is the author of How to Buy & Sell Everything, ©copyright 2009. Peter Walsh knows. Peter is author of How to Organize just about Everything, ©copyright 2009. Monte Bursch knows: author of Building Log Homes. Need I say more?

If you’ve answered, yes to the above questions, you are sitting on a blank check. The book in you is worth, at least, six thousand dollars a year for the remainder of your natural life plus seventy years (that’s copyright law). That’s for a run of the mill book. What if there is a good book in you?

There’s one in Walter E. Bell. I’m writing it with him. You’ll read about him and this great book called How to Start a Cleaning Service for $5,000 or less, ©copyright 2009 Bell.

Five Steps to Selling Your Expertise

Follow Them

(1) Contact a professional published writer of non-fiction books; preferably, one with international publishing contacts and marketing know-how. Take myself, for example.

(2) Fill in the blank. I can tell you best how to_____________________

(3) Start writing notes, in your own words. It’s that simple.

Ok. I’ve told you what, when, where and how. What you’re providing is expertise. It’s first presented in a book, and then there are by products, audio/video, articles, seminars, workshops, etc.

When? Now! Why not make a lucrative resolution for the New Year, one that brings almost free money? This is money you’ve already earned and left on the table. I had build hundreds of putting greens before I wrote the book and cashed in. See the money I would have, otherwise, left on the table? Don’t make that mistake.

You have three questions to answer that will change your life, forever. You may not have an award winning bestseller in you, but you’ll have many trips to the bank.

What are you waiting on? Grab your pen and paper or keyboard and start typing.

I’ll see you at the top.

S. Barry Hamdani, author, public speaker and consultant practices in Atlanta, Ga., Los Angeles, CA., Houston, TX., Dallas, TX. and the Caribbean. He can be reached at barrywrites@gmail.com