Writing: How to Write Colorful Openings

We've heard much ado about opening chapters with action. It's among the most hackneyed expressions of writing advice. While action is important, it accounts for only one facet of the dynamic opening. Other fragments of a great opening are: mood, pace, tension and conflict. The makings of such an opening is well within the spirit of every serious writer. I hope to help you to explore what you already have. So, let's dust off that jewel within yourself, polish it and create memorable openings.

Here are the components to great openings: Fear, Dialog, Conflict and Scene.

Let's start by exploiting the most basic human emotion: fear. For the sake of memory, I use the following acronym to describe those fears, L. Podic. L-P-O-D-I-C, which stands for the fear of: Loss, Poverty, Old age, Death, Illness and most of all Criticism.

Exploit one or more fears in the context of conflict.

"Conflict!" is a superior dynamic toward the great opening. Conflict builds tension, sets the mood and allows the demonstration of character development. In other words, you won't have to tell the reader. You can show them through a given conflict. The reader will become lost in the story as each character responds to conflict. So, there's number one: conflict.

So, forget about action. Conflict stimulates action. Conflict speaks to the reader through language, choice of words, the attitude of the character and encourage the reader to desire a particular action.

How to create conflict? I knew you would ask. Here's how. Here are a few techinques. First, ask yourself, who do you know who cannot seem to answer a simple question without filling you in on all the unncecssary details? Who? Write that individual's name down.

What would he or she say if there were an accident? How would this person respond to a broken arm, or, a broken relationship? Is this person very dramatic? If so, start a scene with the idea that something has gone wrong and a character (not unlike the reader) is trying to discover the nature of the problem, but big mouth is telling all the details that led up to the problem, leaving us on the edge of our seats in anticipation of what actually happened. Make the reader want to shake the speaker until she spits it out.

This technique creates tension. I've created an example below, but first, let's explore additional techniques toward creating conflict and tension.

How? Ask yourself, what is your pet peeve? Write it down. Let's say you can't tolerate second hand cigarette smoke. Now, let's say you have legitimate reason to be in a room with a chain smoker. He is unreasonable and does not consider those around him. Let's say the last will and testament will be read in this room. You are rumored to be the principal heir to this fortune. The chain smoker, Uncle Buck is the executor of the will and primary witness to the intentions of the deceased.

So, Uncle Buck lights up.

Number 2, Dialoge.

Allow the dialoge to pull the reader smack into the story before they know it. To do so, successfully, think "scene." It does not matter whether you're writing a scene. It does matter that your mentality is that of a scene taking place.

Earlier, I alluded to a scene of a loquacious individual who cannot get to the point when asked a simple questions. I think of my niece who is the ultimate drama queen. She would not say, " The child stepped on a nail," when she can say, "An ambulance came. They took Johnny. We don't know that it were poisonous, but rumor has it that, in some cases, gaingrene sets in and they have to amputate. In some cases."

Here's an example of an opening filled with conflict and tension. See if you can determine which of the basic fears are involved in the conflict.

"They're laying off eighty six workers next month," he said.

His wife caught the coffee cup that fell from her hand and nearly onto the graphite counter top. A coffee maker whistled as steam rose beneath the hood of the oven.

His wife studied the blue gray smoke as if his words had gathered there: HE'S LOOSING HIS JOB.

Her back yet turned to him, she neatly folded her note -- the one she spent two days itemizing living expenses and past due bills on paper. She folded the paper into even smaller quarters and clenched it in her fist before hiding it within her bosom.

"...cutting back in every department and every category except the fat cats get to stay on. In fact, the top three executives received a big bonus," he said.

A mortgage. Two car notes. Insurance. Three kids and another on the way. One in college. Tuition. Books.

 "...and was going to try to get on at the BMW plant, but their first choice of candidates for the three jobs will be among the fifteen hundred people they laid off last year."

Three. Only three jobs. Credit card balances.

"Honey? The coffees ready," he said.

Her mind faded into a world of whistles, steam and bills.

Now, see if you can indentify the fears invloved in the above scene.

Below is antoher example.

The two of them sat at a booth. Jenny shuffled in her seat, fumbled with the handle of a coffee mug and bit her nails. Periodically, she looked up toward the door. She even noticed all movements and comings and goings in the nearby parking lot.

He sipped from his own cup and noticed the way she played with her eggs and bacon.

She answered her cell phone. "...umhmm. Here at the Waffle House. The one on Rockbridge Road. Uhmm. He's here. Okay. (laughter). Cool, girl. Bye."

"That was short. Who was that?" he asked.

"A girl friend," she said.

She shifted in her seat and began biting her nails, again.

"Are you sure there's nothing going on between you and Cindy?" She asked.

"Who said that? Who told you something like that?"

"Are you seeing her?"

"Cindy? Me--" he pointed to his chest --" and Cindy? "

She shoved her meal aside, toyed through her purse and then removed a small mirror and applied lipstick.

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"Who, Cindy?"

She rubbed her lips together and turned her head aside until her dangling ear ring shown in her compact mirror.

"What--two weeks ago?" he said.

"Not last night?"

He hesitated. "No."

"Not at  Barleys in the parking lot last night?"

"No."

"Why would someone lie about that?"

"I dunno. You can ask Emmet. Last night I was with him."

She looked up...toward the door. The lady marching through the door had business on her mind. She stood erect with a heavy purse strapped to her left shoulder. Her right hand stuffed inside the purse, she said something to the cashier who pointed toward the table where they sat.

The cashier rushed behind the kitchen door and beckoned the waiters to join her.

Writing: Access Your Resevoir of Experience

As the Bible states, It is better to give than to receive.

During those moments when we are feeling deep emotions, we may want to write our feelings down. Whether we are experiencing joy, pain, sadness or anger, there are descripitons hidden within emotions that adds color to our lives and to our stories. Our feelings are invaluable.

Treat your emotions like a gold mine and mine them. There is great value there. Dig and give away what you find. Others might appreciate it.

Having said that, I strongly suggest we access our own experiences more and share those experiences with others, not necessarily in a story, but in a letter. Write a letter about what you are feeling.

For example, pretend you are with a therapist (you're on the sofa). What do you have to say?

It may go something like this:

Dear Reader,

Today, I am missing a very close relationship. I was married for eighteen years and now that I am not, my life is quite different. I am, yet, adjusting.

I have dated a few people, but, in doing so, I've learned that I do not want a serious relationship, just friends. In moments like these (the present) however, I would like more.

I have to be careful here, because there is a difference in missing a person and missing the relationship. People, often falter by going back and forth, in and out of unhealthy relationships for that reason. Sometimes people do not want to be alone. It's like going back to a job you left. Look, Either you left for a reason or you did not. Here's where we have to trust ourselves.

Lonelines is okay. Pain is okay. Because we are feeling pain from loosing a loved one does not mean we should jump into another relationship with that same person or anyone else; after all, we are always alone. Always.

I've found that once I grew up and accepted the reality of loneliness as a temporary thing, and the state of being alone as eternal, I began to make better decisions.

People who can handle pain are people who tend to make better decisions in the long run, as it pertains to break ups. People who are overcome by pain tend to jump out of the frying pan and back into the pot.

All of the above entail my inner thoughts at the time of the writing.

Now, how do I turn this into interesting fiction. Well, if art imitates life, then I'm on to something here.

Here we go.

He snuffed out a half smoked cigar and stared at a full glass of wine that sat before him, untouched. He repositioned himself in the hammock and put the novel aside. He was on page 31 but could not remember what he had read.

He sat the book aside.

"It's okay," he whispered.

He opened the cell phone, stared at her name and number and closed the phone for the third time without dialing.

The phone rang.

"Hi mom. Fine. No, we're not back together. No. I miss.....the relationship, but I don't miss her. Okay. I'll come, but Mom? I may be alone."

He closed the cell phone and smiled. He really smiled. His eyes smiled. "Relationship," he mummbled.

Larry, placed the phone on the grass beneath his hammock, lit the cigar and took a long drag. Again, he smiled. He stared at the stogie. It tasted better. He licked his bottom lip. Larry then sipped from his glass of wine. He then held the glass in front of him as if it were his lover's face. He shook the glass, ever so slightly, just enough to give the wine legs that ran along the inside of the glass like diluted syrup. He sipped it again, chewed it and smiled.

"Now that's a glass of wine," he said.

Life is good when you know what you're feeling. Larry nodded, approvingly.

He finished the novel and dialed.

"Hi," he said. "This is Larry. We met at the library...last week? Yes. Thought I'd invite you over to my mother's for dinner tommorrow. Sure, then I'll take you home immediately, afterwards. Okay. Thanks. See you then."

Larry toasted to the open air, alone. He sipped and smiled.

Writing: Don't Give Up

Do Not Give Up!

You may be closer than you think to becoming a published author.

I briefed nine manuscripts this past week. The authors were rejected by one of my clients, a major publisher. Three of those manuscripts were great. So, why were they rejected? They were rejected because they were not quiet ready for publication, that's why.

As a freelance writer, I am pulling for the writers of the above mentioned three manuscripts. As a paid editor, my responsiblity to my client is to toss the manuscript and go to the next one, however, I cannot. There's trouble going on between my ears. The writer in me is a nagging moralist that makes me feel like I've betrayed all writers by supporting the rejection, but the publisher is paying my bills. So, what do I do?

I contact those writers and offer what a rejection letter does not. You guessed it: I offer advice.

Why am I writing this particular post? I want you to know that your manuscripts may be closer to publishing than you realize. In honor of my client publishers, I am not at liberty to mention names, just yet, however, many good books are turned down simply because editors do not have time to read them. If only I had more time. I would edit the good manuscripts for free. Yes, I would. I cannot help myself. I love this game.

How I love this game.

A wise person once said, "If your game in life is not worth playing, find another game."

I agree with the sage. Great manuscripts are worth saving. I'm asking other editors out there (no, I'm begging) to please, please take an otherwise rejected manuscript home this weekend and give the writer a few pointers. It will reward you. If the good manuscript is published, you'll have yourself a most loyal writer. Remember, loyalty works both ways.

Sure, you might say, but Barry are you doing what you're requesting of us?

Yes, I am. Well, to an extent, I am. I don't have time to read complete manuscripts that are already rejected, however, I will help correct what I call "bad chapters" to an otherwise good book. Some of you (editors) have good manuscripts with a couple bad chapters that turned you off, please, don't outright reject it. Contact me, I will help with it.

So, do I practice what I preach...or what?

For those aspiring novelist out there whose editors have directly pointed out bad chapters, yet you don't know what to do with them, send me an e-mail. Please be brief, as time is of the essence. Send me a summary of the problem. Summary. That's a two pager. If I agree to help you, I will request a chapter. We will work with it over a couple of days, at which time you may be ready to move to the next problem with your manuscript.

How's that for service?

Remember, I have time to review one chapter only....the bad chapter that is otherwise, inhibiting the publication of a good book. Most books have a hindering spirit....somewhere within the text, prior to publication.

Hang in there and someday soon the mail carrier will arrive with an exciting acceptance letter.

So, there it is. Don't give up. Define the chapter(s) that's hindering the progress of your book and do something about it.

So, what are you waiting for?

Writing to Mesmerize the Reader

(c)copyright 2010 Hamdani

We want to capture the reader's attention, right away, do we not?
Assuming we agree, let's explore means of arriving at that objective. Here are a few tips.

Use the epithet to handcuff the reader's imagination to a given passage. I suggest you write and read poetry to develop the technique and modify your style over a relative short period of time. Use unusual words and phrases to accompany your prose. These words should incur in place of the name of a person or thing, thus the epithet.

{Bare with me. I've included two examples, below. I won't leave you hanging}

Allow your writing to fluctuate from prosaic to insidious to the poetic and back, again, thus elliptic. This is a panacea to otherwise boring narrative. Here's how to do it.

*Give them deliberate obscurity.

*Emphasize the magic of the elliptic.

{continue reading. These techniques are included in the examples, below}

Why? Because adverbs are otherwise relative to the reader's interpretation, but obscurity evokes emotion. Emotion gives the passage crediblity relative to the reader's personal experience or judgement. In other words, obscurity allows the reader to identify with a character or event from the reader's past.

Everyone knows a Smitty and a Fenetriss (characters in my story as depicted below). The roles the characters represent are fiction, but the personalities are not.

*Write a poem about your protagonist/antagonist and watch the magic happen.

The master of this talent, in my opinion, is Emily Dickinson, poet extradionaire. Emily Dickerson could have patented her technique. It is an extreme economy of speech, second to none. The language she used is intrinsically special in that it is elliptically compressed. Her intellectual reticence stops you in your tracks, compelling you, the reader to "feel" her.

{I don't claim to be an Emily Dickerson, but you get the point}

She used metaphors to explain what prose (independently used) cannot. Make a point to read one of her poems each week and see what happens to your writing.

The technique requires a major leap from your present topic to another by the emission of words and then you must revert to poetry, and return to prose, again. To employ this technique, effectively, you want to use words and images that are undefined and allow the reader to attach the face or self-invoked image.

For example, you may resort to words that create images....words like: God, the devil, angels, demons, guardian angels, spirits, a presence and so forth.

Here's what I want you to accomplish: use an economy of words by exploiting silence, elliptically. For example, in one of my upcoming novels (a thriller), I explained the antagonist as such:

It was not Smitty's words that destroyed you. Havoc took place between a few deliberately spoken sentences. His dark eyes remained still beneath thick brows that were becoming of a demon with the appearance of a normal man, except little of Smitty's demeanor was normal. Looking at him gave one the perspective of a person viewing the body of a relative at a wake. One's soul became instantly fragmented by the possibility of being left alone with him. He was a dark place, a sinister element that should not have breathed.

And when he gave you that half-smile, that grimace becoming of nearly every known serial killer, you were immediately aware of your human frailties. He made you want to pray.

His smile offended God.

This technique is not limited to a particular genre. For example, I used it in a romance scene, below.

It was not her words that magnetized the man's heart, but the things Fenetriss didn't say. It was that space between the words spoken and the actual meaning conveyed that made her lover stutter; a place superior to wit and one step below Godliness. When Fenetriss spoke, and just before their lips met, a most sublime silence captured him, even before she closed her eyes. At that very moment, he realized that his propensity to become better or weaker was solely up to her.

He could only hope that her half-smile pleased God.

I Need an Agent

(c) copyright 2010 Hamdani

Most writers need an agent. You've heard of the legendary catch 22: the agent need you to have a published book, and the publisher need you to have an agent.

Look forward to upcoming post on this topic. We plan to have fun with it and too keep ourselves informed on the latest.

Develop Colorful Writing Techniques

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Discover The 5 Sense Approach to Colorful Writing,

Try the 5 Sense approach, and hone your creative writing skills. This approach does not provide a panacea to all your writing problems, however, if practiced, this technique will make your writing practically jump off the page. It only takes about fifteen minutes a day to develop this technique. I promise, if you continue to read this blog, your writing skills will improve, dramatically.

Here goes.

We are going to exploit the five senses to arrive at very colorful writing. Use this technique with prose, poetry, non-fiction and writing in general. I write suspense, a necessary ingredient in my genre which is the Thriller.

Get your pen and paper or put your fingers on the keyboard (a-s-d-f, j-k-l-;) and close your eyes. Forget about the entire story you're writing( for a moment) and focus on a single scene in your book. Begin this exercise by focusing on the sense of sight. S-I-G-H-T.

Close your eyes for about a minute and bring to mind all that you see. Next, open your eyes and write single words and phrases (not becessarily sentences) based on what you saw, however, sentences and fragments are okay. It's not about rules of grammar, it's about creativity.

For example, I'm doing it as I speak.

Step 1.
I'm about to close my eyes and concentrate on a scene in my latest novel. I'm going to think of the antagonist, Smitty. I'm focusing on the sense of sight. Here I go.

I've opened my eyes and I'm writing:

Smitty. Ponytail. Eyes that shifted. Clean face. Tall. Salt and pepper hair. Dark. Beneath a tree. Wind blowing. Shadows. Lights inside. Looking through window. They don't see him. He saw her. Flashes of light....a television screen?

Step 2.

I'm closing my eyes and foucsing on the sense of sound. S-O-U-N-D. This is what I hear:

Wind blowing. A dog barked in the distance. A machine hummed. Air conditioner? Plates rattled. A door slammed. A car door shut. Voices. Voices disappeared. Slence.

Step 3.

The sense of "Touch."
Brittle tree bark. An insect crawling on my skin. A brushing leaf. bit my tongue.

Step 4.

The sense of "Smell."
Supper. Something roasted. greenery. Something moist, perhaps mildew. Smoke. Pollen?

Step 5.

The sense of "Taste."
Chocolate. Mint. blood. shampoo. dust.

Okay. Notice, I did not attempt to make sense of my writing. I simply wrote what was there. Now, we can go back and allow the writing to flow.

He stood beneath a thick sycamore tree, safely camoflagued by thick branches looming overhead. An insect crawled over his gloved hand an onto his wrist. Probably an ant. Shadows danced as a strong wind rustled leaves above his head. He stepped back, away from the street lamp and into the edge of the treeline.

He saw her, but she couln't see him.

Her lights were on across the street. The kitchen window was open and he smelled supper. It would be her last meal. It was a roast, fresh from the oven. He could almost taste it, but he didn't; instead, he tasted blood. His blood.

"Dammit!" he whispered. He had bit his own tongue.

Smitty removed a chocolate from the top pocket of his hunter's vest. Smitty was a hunter. Smitty hunted people.

He smacked the chocolate twice, and then swallowed. He rubbed his salt and pepper ponytail and tucked it into the first layer of clothing, a t-shirt. He then fastened the hunter's vest about his neck, creating a snug fit. Happy that his ponytail was secure and not likely to lose a strand of hair for police forensics to discover, he half smiled. Half smiled, but not yet confident that he would get away. Perfection requires rehearsal and he always rehearsed....three or four times before the action took place. He rehearsed. That's what made him good at it.

A car pulled up. The neighbors were on time. All four car doors opened. The couple and both children departed. Their voices emerged from the car but soon faded as they approached the front door. A small dog barked from inside the house.

He leaned against the trunk of the thick, moist Sycamore tree and rehearsed his plan of attack. He noticed a flash of light. Probably, a tv screen. He checked his watch. In fifteen minutes, she would turn off the tv and go to bed. He had rehearsed. A feeling of confidence swept over him, a power engulfed him. It was a complete confirmation of his superiority. Now, he smiled, completely. Twenty minutes later she would fall asleep, and then...Smitty would make his move.

Smitty was certain of one thing: He would get away.

*


Exploit the readers mind by alluding to what is sensed. Notice, Smitty does sense that everything is usual. Nothing is out of place. Smitty is, therefore, ready to act.

In the first and third paragraphs, I broke the rules of composition by using sentence fragments. For example, "probably an ant." Later, I used "his blood....." It's okay to break the rules, infrequently, for effect.

Now, I've demonstrated how to use your basic senses to pull he reader into the story. It doesn't matter whether you're writing romance, mystery, poetry or suspense. Employ this technique and watch your writing jump off the page.

I suggest you thumb through your manuscript and locate elongated narratives that does not move forward. There, apply this technique.

Try it. If it works for you, I would appreciate a comment on this blogsite. If I am helping you, I will share more information, but you have to let me know.

Sell more books. Use the sense God gave you.

Writing Non-Fiction (How to Books)

(c) copyright 2010 Hamdani

Some writers believe non-fiction writing is more challenging. I think it's the opposite. Why? Because non-fiction limits us to a set of facts. Fiction, on the other hand, allow the imagination to run wild. Sometimes,as a result of imagination, we consequently, run upon bestsellers. That's not to imply fiction is not without format or rules. It is. For example, I write fiction thrillers. These books demand short scenes. Short scenes create suspense and impact. They make the reader turn the page (provided the writer is talented). So much for fiction; after all, this session is about non-fiction How-To books, a most lucrative category. I should know. I have a great seller out there.

We maintain tighter parameters when writing non-fiction. The free flowing imagination of the writer becomes inconvenienced by the truth. The truth is not always interesting, however, and is often flat boring. That is especially, true, when writing a litany of facts. Such writing is more effective that sleeping pills. In fact, it is a healthier and environmentally safe. Safe, because there are not plastic containers to toss, healthier as an alternative to overcoming insomnia (safer than pharmaceuticals). Save your money and spare yourself the 100s of side affect of taking sleeping pills (......may cause internal bleeding, hypertension, migraine headaches, suicidal tendencies, encourage bad writing and cause people to tear up viable manuscripts). Okay, I made up some of those symptoms, but you get the point, don't you? Poor writing, writing a list of facts is boring.

Seriously, here's the key to writing effective non-fiction.

* write what you know. (You've heard that somewhere before
haven't you? Right. That's because it's true. It works).

* Offer accounts of human experiences, not just facts.

Here's what I mean by that. In my book, How to Build a Putting Green (c)copyright 2007, I didn't limit the book to a list of facts. I, like all good writers, revealed several accounts of my experiences (not all good experiences) to demonstrate to the reader the things that can go wrong. In other words, laugh at yourself. They'll understand.

Maybe you're writing about your experience in starting a business.

Make it human.

Talk about your greatest fears when first starting out. We're you afraid that you were one of the few women to ever start a business in your particular industry? Maybe, you didn't have the assets sufficient to obtain a bank loan. Maybe, you later learned that most people do not, but you succeeded, anyway.

You don't have to give away your trade secrets to make your book interesting; you simply have to give. A wise person once said, "....they don't care what you know until that know that you care." So, don't be foolish, love 'em. Love the reader and the story will happen.

What were your greatest pleasures? I'll bet you can remember when you landed your first major contract, can't you? Remember, the dinner? Cocktails? You probably celebrated the night with your most significant other, didn't you? Then, tell us about that, and then get back to the facts.

* Employ a good'ole no-non-sense editor. Find a skeptical
editor who happens to be a good writer.

I am a strong believer that fellow writers can make great editors. We know what to look for. We can, also, readily identify the boring points. We, often, know how to spruce it up.

* Do not try to organize your thoughts. No-no-no. The
truth is often spontaneous and not often organized. Just write
notes. Don't stop to organize notes when you're in-the-zone and your writing is flowing. Have a cup of coffee, tea or whatever you drink or
smoke and reminisce on moments in the past...exploit the economy of emotion.

Focus on memories that makes your cry, or re-generate anger, hostility, sadness or joy. Write it down, and have another sip. (I'm just kidding about the smoking part. Really, I am).

Now, let's get to another fact. Ask yourself, What would you change if you had to do it all over again? Maybe, you would try a different approach. Maybe, you would sign on a different partner. Maybe, you would choose a strong drink and try a different profession, altogether. In any case, list those facts. It might go something like this.

* Never enter a negotiation unless you are fully aware of
the concessions you are willing to make.

* Know the advantages of negotiating your book deal on the
publisher's turf (at the publishers office).

* Know the benefits of negotiating the book deal on your own
turf (in this case, we're alluding to your own terms).

Here's what I'm getting at. A non-fiction book has a more distinctive market. A golf putting greens book is written for whom? You've got it. It's for golfers. Believe it or not, some people have asked me: Barry, who is the book for? (They arrived on that short, happy bus. They were a few cans short of a six pack....know what I mean?) Anyway, the market for your How-To book is somewhat obvious, however, that doesn't mean peripheral market members won't buy your book.

Here's an example. Years ago, I met a young African American man by the name of Ian Fitzwilliams, a Canadian. Ian owned a small business. He sold colorful cookbooks. He made several million dollars selling cook books, door-to-door. He made the cover of a popular Canadian business magazine. I can see him in my mind's eye, on the yellow magazine cover where he sat on a pile of cook books stacked some six feet high.

I was curious about this man. I contacted him and posed a few questions, one of which is, "How in hek did you sell so many cookbooks, so soon, and why did the cooks buy them?" No, he wasn't offended.

Ian answered, "Barry, it's not so much that people cooked, but they did believe if they bought the book, they would (cook). Get it?

C'mon, not all of you are on that proverbial slow bus that I mentioned above.

The same wisdom applied to my book, and may very well apply to yours. Not all people who bought my book were good golfers, let alone good at putting, but they believed that if they bought the book they would become so. In reality, they may or may not. That's not our problem, as writers. We give them the how-to information and it's up to them to apply it.

So, what are you waiting for, start writing.